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---
title: Fear of Falling Behind
title: fear of falling behind
description: The looming pressure of keeping up with everything
pubDate: Aug 25 2025
pubDate: Oct 1 2025
---
I am lucky enough to be in an [environment](https://kennethnym.com/blog/your-environment-dictates-everything/) where I am surrounded by bright-minded, high-achieving people that are doing incredible work every day, and they are nothing short of inspiring. Safe to say - I am the dumbest person in the room. On one hand, I get to learn from them every day, driving myself to get better. On the other, comparison inevitably arises within myself, and it has been slowly getting onto me recently: will I ever be good enough?

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---
title: Kenneth v24.0 released today
description: Release note for Kenneth v24.0
pubDate: Oct 8 2025
---
I am happy to announce that I have officially released v24.0 of myself today. Kenneth v24 is the biggest release ever, containing heaps of improvements and new features. This blog post serves as a release note of what has changed since v23. For the impatient, here are several notable breaking changes:
- New job @ [Ona](https://ona.com) working on coding agents
- Migrated home location to /uk/london
- Drastically improved appearance
- Many important (heartbreaking) life lessons learned
- Kenneth is about 20% more self-aware
- Met many friends from x dot com
Please read on for more technical details.
---
Enough tech gibberish. I would like to use this blog post as a reflection of the past year since my last birthday.
## Software Engineer @ Ona
Last birthday, I made a wish that I would get another job and move to London. Little did I know that I smashed that wish.
Ever since I was a teenager, I have always wanted to work at a startup. The idea that I get full autonomy over my work and that I get to work on something that I deeply care about is what motivates me to get up to work every day. Since then, I had applied to numerous positions at various companies of varying sizes, but to no avail.
Everything changed in June. I went to a pub event in London hosted by the nice folks at (Scaling Devtools)[https://scalingdevtools.com/], expecting that I would get to meet like-minded people, chat about tech, and exchange details. Suddenly, 2 people at Ona (known as Gitpod back then) showed up, and my mind *lit up*. I have known Gitpod for a long time, and to be able to meet the people behind it in a pub was mind-blowing. "How on earth did Gitpod, out of all companies, manage to find us here??" I thought to myself. We began introducing ourselves, and I got to talk about [tesseract](https://github.com/kennethnym/tesseract), a CDE that I built for my own use. My enthusiasm touched them, and they decided to give me a chance. The rest is history.
This, for me, has been the biggest turning point of my career. Being able to work alongside like-minded and smart people on a product that I am passionate about is something that I deeply cherish. I am and will forever be grateful for Ona for having me on the team, and I am honored to be on the team.
## Important life lessons
I won't go into details here, but many, many life events have happened since my last birthday. I am processing and healing through them, and I have also learned several important lessons. The biggest of them all is that one should take action on addressing their insecurities and be gentle with them at the same time.
I am a deeply insecure person, and my insecurities show up in all kinds of places. With people, they show up as my anxiety and my constant chase for validation. This has ruined friendships that I very very very very highly valued, which further reinforces my core beliefs, forming a vicious cycle. With work, they put unnecessary stress on myself, leading me to think that I am not good enough or that I am not working enough.
I have since started therapy, and the biggest progress I have made is the fact that this blog post exists! It has made me a lot more self-reflective and identity thinking patterns, which helps me process traumas and events (in ways that I did not expect when I signed up for it initially.)
Even though they are painful, I am still glad that they happened, because they have fundamentally changed me as a person. I am more outgoing, more compassionate, and more mature. They are memories that I will forever cherish.
## Maybe friends are oomfs we met on x dot com
I managed to meet many oomfs on x dot com and somehow managed to convince one of them to be my neighbor. Every meet up is nothing short of awesomeness. Unfortunately, most of them are not based around London, so I won't be able to see them again any time soon. If you are reading this and you are one of them, I will come see you again!
## The one constant birthday wish
Yes... the Achilles heel. We all know what it is. This year is no different. This is a part of life where I genuinely feel stuck and helpless. Being single has its perks, but I also long for the someone. The person with whom I can be vulnerable. The person with whom I can experience life until the end of the universe. I have made so much progress in other parts of life, but when it comes to this, I am absolutely clueless. I will build literal rockets that take me to the Moon before I figure this out.
Oh to be loved.
## Plans for v25
Aside from the obvious answer, my big plan is to release the *very secret thing* that I have been building. I want to refrain myself from talking about it, because then it will demotivate me from actually finishing it. I also wish for the friends I have made along the way to stay with me.

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</header>
<main class="py-8">
<p>
software engineer @ <Link href="https://ona.com">ona</Link>.
all opinions are my own.
software engineer @ <Link href="https://ona.com">ona</Link>. all
opinions are my own.
</p>
<p>check out <Link href="/read">the books I am reading!</Link></p>
<h1 class="font-bold mt-8 mb-2 text-lg visited">current projects:</h1>
@@ -70,11 +70,11 @@ const posts = (await getBlogs()).sort(
<main
class="py-8 px-4 max-w-4xl flex flex-col items-center space-y-0 leading-tight"
>
<header class="font-bold text-center">KENNETHNYM v23.9</header>
<header class="font-bold text-center">KENNETHNYM v24.0</header>
<p class="leading-none">&nbsp;</p>
<p class="text-center">
software engineer @ <Link href="https://www.gitpod.io">gitpod</Link>.
unpaid hhkb salesman.
software engineer @ <Link href="https://ona.com">Ona</Link>. unpaid
hhkb salesman.
</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>